Went out with M last night and had a pretty good time. We went to Lester’s diner and rented a movie. I won’t divulge what the title of the movie was — because it was a tad erotic. Anyways, during our dinner, Kimmie called and somehow during the bizarre conversation — became emotionally crazed. She started sniffing and blaming me for being uncaring to her feelings. What the f–k???!!!! Here I was — emotionally under stressed and SHE thought I wasn’t being in tune to her emotional well being. I just don’t understand. Then an hour later goes by (while at Blockbuster) and the phone rings. Its Harry. He first begins by saying, “what the hell did you do to Kimme?” So I said, “I didn’t do anything — she got all emotional and was pissed at me for no apparent reason.” To which he replied, “yeah what has been with you lately — she calls you to talk to you and you blow her off.”
Moi: I did not blow her off, I was with M and was in the midst of dinner. I told her I’d call her back when she and I could better talk more personally.”
Harry: “well you have been such a bitch lately. I don’t know what’s with you — but you haven’t been you at all. You haven’t even apologized to me. And don’t you know her time is very precious?”
Moi: “Oh so I’m supposed to drop every last smidget of my unimportant life because since she’s working in the hospital — her time is just way more valuable? I see how it is to you both.”
Harry: “I didn’t say that.”
Moi: “But that’s what you implied….that I was being inconsiderate of her when she calls me at a specific time when I told her I would call her back. And why should I apologize to you. You got mad at me and started yelling at me — worse than my parents.”
Harry: “I do not yell at you like your parents.”
Moi: “You do too, and what — now you don’t have the balls to call me while Kimmie is still there to let her watch you berate her best friend? Very nice. So you wait until she leaves — call me — and proceed to chew me out? You are lucky – I don’t call her now to tell her what you’ve just done. I won’t because you know why?”
Moi: “Because I care about Kimmie too much to try to f–k up what relationship you have with her. I’m not going to tell her shit.”
So Harry proceeded to continue with the endless lecturing and how I messed up so much of my life — pissing off everyone. After awhile, I grew silent until he said, “are you there? HELLO???!!” And I said, “i’m here — look I need to go, I’m with M.” To which he said, “ok — call me tomorrow if you need tips to break up with the Green Knight.” Pppppppfffffffttttt!! Argh – what a prick. Or as the Black Knight said it best by describing Harry as a “d-ck”.
So last night — I didn’t hear from the Green Knight, until nearly 12:30am (my cell rings). I didn’t answer. I’m just so over the whole situation. The next time if he calls — if he has the balls to call, that’s it. And if he doesn’t — I’m making the dreaded phone call. This shit is killing my soul — its making me into a freaking wench. And I haven’t been myself. It wasn’t until I received a packet in the mail — for something that I was thinking about applying to awhile back — did I realize how much I’ve gone off course. Now, I need to figure what I want — go for it….guy or no guy.
Now why is it such a double standard for a woman to “semi” see two men — then for a guy to see many women at the same time? I just don’t get that. If a woman wasn’t commited to one guy and happened to “play the field” — she would be deemed a harlot or tramp. But a guy? Its more than ok — its acceptable. Now, I’m not condoning the whole dating many people at one time act — but it just disturbs me — about what men can get away with as opposed to women. I think she feels the same way.