Haven’t been sleeping very well these days – nor have I been eating much. I think I’m going to go for a little walk in a second — to clear my mind and heart.
I’ve been contemplating alot of things these days. Fairness….love…friendships…people who hurt people. Sometimes I wish I had never felt this kind of or any kind of emotion. Its the kind of emotion that gets you right at the belly of your throat. The kind you feel that suffocates you. Gasping for breath and at the same time – holding back tears because the pain is unbearable. When daily tasks and work just don’t make sense anymore. All you do is try to smile and look presentable. I deserve better. Don’t you wish you could turn back time when dreams of falling madly in love were fresh and untainted? When the simple verse or beats of certain songs – DON’T bring you to absolute tears. When seeing a car doesn’t remind you of him. When someone who simply “looks” or reminds you of the essence of the person – doesn’t bring tears to your eyes out of sadness.