I don’t know why you say goodbye…I say hello

I said a mental goodbye to a friend who has long since been very distant with me. I informed him of a recent horrible occurance in my life. A family member being very very sick. And much to my surprise – his response was cold at best. First I was very sad — then I became very very MAD. So I did what most people in this technological day and age do — I deleted him off my AIM buddy list, my Myspace buddy list — and finally removed him off my cell phone contact list. Its been a rough week. Filled with many emotions and drama. It seems this year is a year of change. A year of new things — be it good or bad.

I’ve said two mental goodbyes to friends this year. I’ve watched my uncle deteriorate from a strong man to being reduced to someone relying on massive amounts of medical treatment. I’ve watched my father fall down sobbing — praying that his brother survive and recover. I had a nervous breakdown in a hospital elevator and walked quietly through the streets of Queens — trying to make sense of why life is the way that it is. I’ve missed my friends. I’ve wished all of my family were closer. I’ve missed the people that matter the most to me.

I want to say hello — no more goodbyes.

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