Meet the parents


Aside from going on an official first date — meeting someone’s parents is probably THE most traumatizing experience you will ever endure in your life. That is to say that you actually have the pleasure of doing so.

First — there is the initial question. “Um, my parents asked me to invite you over for dinner to meet them” or “Hey, I really want you to meet my parents ok?” — the various different strains of the actual wording literally goes on. And depending on the nature of your relationship — said question can be met with happiness/joy or nausea/mental blockage resulting in slight passing out.

Second — you mentally gear yourself for what may or may not happen throughout the day. You are concerned about your clothes. Is this formal? Is this casual? Should I be extremely conservatively dressed? Do I ask him/her what is the proper dress protocol? And if previous question is asked — do I risk letting him/her know I’m nervous to the point I’m worried about the way I look to his/her parents.

Third — do you bring a gift? If so — what? Alcohol (i.e. champagne, wine, beer)? Desserts (i.e. cakes, cookies, pastries)?

Fourth — do you display tiny bits of affection toward him/her in front of the parents and possible relatives? Or do you act like you are a complete prude and do not touch each other until after? If him/her doesn’t so much as brush up against you once or twice (accidently) during the whole meet-n-greet situation — do you feel offended?

And finally fifth — when said occurance/torture ends — what do you say? How do you end it? Do you hug goodbye? Do you shake hands? Do you cheek kiss goodbye? What is the proper ettiquette? And then what do you say? — “Thank you for feeding me” or “Thank you for inviting me and secretly judge me”?

In the end, you are meeting people/inidividuals whom you may never have in your entire life have met under normal circumstances. You try to make a good impression — but there is obvious ackwardness and unpleasantries.

One thing to keep in mind. I don’t care if you are THE most perfect partner. Perfect in every which way. Even perfect to the parents. No matter what — you are taking their baby — their blood — AWAY from them. Therefore, at the end of the day — down to the very core of the matter — you are the enemy. But how does that saying go? Keep your friends close and your enemies even CLOSER?

1 Comment

  1. kodiack5
    27. Dec. 09

    the enemy of my enemy is my friend. and you'd better make some of that bread for when i come in beeetch!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *